Managing Childhood Anxiety: A Mom's Personal Journey

Becoming a mother has taken me on a journey filled with challenges and unimaginable rewards. Yet, when your child grapples with anxiety, these challenges can become even more overwhelming. Anxiety in children is a concern shared by many mothers, and it's crucial to know that you're not on this path alone. I'm sharing my personal journey with the hope of connecting with other mothers, offer support, and helping them navigate their unique paths.

In This Article

Our Story: A Mom Helping Her Child Navigate Childhood Anxiety

Heres How We Manage Our Anxiety Triggers

Our Story: A Mom Helping Her Child Navigate Childhood Anxiety

From the moment my daughter was born, her childhoodanxiety, although hidden, was a part of her. She had a way of gently placing her hand on her neck, tilting her head down, a gesture we initially dismissed as shyness. Little did we realize it was her way of seeking comfort for the emotions she was grappling with. At the tender age of three, she hit me with a question that pierced my heart: "Mommy, when you go to Heaven, who will take care of me?" I could see the fear in her innocent eyes as she asked. At that moment, I still didn't fully grasp the depth of her fear or understand how it would evolve into a full-blown anxiety. Over time, I noticed that any mention of death or Heaven would make her clasp her neck even tighter.

From just a toddler, holding or placing her hand on her neck as shown above, was her "tell sign" that she was having a big worry

As the years went by, her anxiety gradually intensified. There were times when something as trivial as accidentally stepping on an ant would crush her. At four, after learning about the meaning of Easter in an age-appropriate manner, she went through phases of separation anxiety, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, and even bedwetting. The list of struggles seemed never-ending. In my quest to help her, I began searching for children's counselors. The challenges brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic meant in-person help was unavailable. We eventually found a virtual play-based children's counselor and had a few sessions, but the fear ran so deep that she hesitated to open up about it in her sessions. Despite this, we continued with the sessions and stayed the course. With time she appeared to have bounced back slightly. Her appetite returned to normal, she started sleeping better, and she continued her extracurricular activities without difficulty. I allowed myself to believe that perhaps we had overcome the worst of it.

Between the ages of four and six, I observed occasional worries that seemed typical for any child—fear of the dark, shyness at family gatherings, and the like, nothing that overly alarmed me. Then, in January of 2023, we witnessed her experience her first panic attack. It was absolutely terrifying for her and for us. We were on a family vacation, having dinner at a restaurant when it happened. She froze, terror in her eyes, dropped her fork, and sprinted toward the center of the restaurant. She then ran back towards the exit. I took her to the bathroom, trying to help her focus on her breathing, but sadly, she vomited. After she managed to calm down, she remained too afraid to discuss her fears. It wasn't until the following morning that she mustered the courage to share her fear of something happening to her. Since then, not a day passes without her asking, "Why do I have so many worries?" This question echoes in my heart, a poignant reminder of the ongoing battle she faces with anxiety.

Our anxiety often comes in waves and the triggers are ones that we are aware of and most common. There are times, however, where the triggers are not expected. As an example, something we do all the time, dive into the pool with no goggles has all of a sudden become a source of anxiety.

Heres How We Manage Our Anxiety Triggers

To manage our triggers here are some of the tools we use to create a calming effect and bring us back to focus:

1.Mindful Observation:

• Name 5 things you can see

• Name 4 things you can touch

• Name 3 things you can hear

• Name 2 things you can smell

• Name 1 thing you can taste

This technique helps us focus on the present and shifts the focus from the anxious thoughts. We often use this technique at the onset of a panic attack or when we have really big worries. Holding hands while going through each of the senses also creates a sense of security.

2. Counting:

• Count backwards slowly from 100

• Count objects that are visible

This is more of an either or. It doesn’t necessarily have to be both; however both should yield the same result. It removes the focus from the anxious thoughts and brings you back to the present.

3. Affirmations:

Repeat these positive thoughts at the beginning and end of your day

Say them to your child and then have your child repeat them. We have added this to our routine and it is our favourite technique. You can chose the affirmations you want to say with your child.

These are the ones we use:

• I am beautiful

• I am Strong

• I am grateful

• I am love

• I am happy

• I am brave

• I can do hard things

These have helped my 7yr old build confidence, love herself and remind herself that she can do hard things.

What we’ve learned from this journey so far is that navigating childhood anxiety is a constant work in progress. We will continue to find the best outlets for our daughter and provide her the best coping mechanisms.